CREDENDA ON MY OWN by Angel MEG =)

CREDENDA ON MY OWN
by Angel MEG (as always! =) Hehehe! =))

Mode: ALL in one paragraph =)

I have always been a bookworm. I peruse galore! In point of fact, I feel better after purchasing two books a week rather than spending much on luxuries. And unlike typical teenagers, lavishness includes clothes and accessories. Precisely, that is the reason why many people deem me as nerdy or geek. And oh! Let me introduce to you 2 of my faves... Og Mandino and Buddy Kaye! They were my loyal cohort ever since the world turned its back on me. At first, I just bought it because of its title that makes me wonder a lot. The Gift of Acabar? Where or who is Acabar? After several minutes of contemplating, I decided to read its prologue. And after two hours, voila! I had finished reading the novel. Not much impact yet, sadly. I sob but without much pain in my heart. I just pitied the protagonist, Tulo. “Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside your heavy load and rest until your heart is still. Be at peace…” Tulo Matis is the wonder child of the amorous Pedar and Inga, who both held to the proud customs of their community. The world knows them as Lapps but they call themselves Same in the far north of the Arctic Circle. Although Tulo is a courteous and gracious child, Same prioritize reindeer more than Tulo’s books. He is far different because he has bushels of clear ideas! He writes with so much ardor and eloquence but among other things, he has become an expert on kites. The quirk of fate happens at the festive autumnal roundup. It is an event that challenges each Same family to separate its own reindeer from the others after they have intermingled freely with reindeer from other village herds. He was able to do it at first. But alas, he was off balance when he twirls his lasso over their big stag’s head. Pedar died to rescue Tulo in the charging herd. “Already it is later than you think, for your earthily life, at best, is only the blink of an eye between two eternities. Be unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that which you dread and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your energy…” You know, I used to live in a world bursting of love and idealisms. My loved ones supported me all the way and assisted me incessantly. However, the saying “It is lonely to be on the top” is very real for me. I loathe to be honored as the cream of the crop because my barkada or friends tease me always. I do not enjoy the pressure of being number one. I just want to belong, that’s all. Thus, I chose to be one of the good apprentice, but certainly not the best. I wanted to be in. No, I crave so much to be normal! Lest did I realize that we are all born with super natural abilities, if we will only unleash. “To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Be jealous of your time, since it is your greatest treasure. Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire…” My best friend taught me to let loose my full potentials. He always enlightens me that we are all here for a purpose, with a special message to deliver and special act of love to bestow. But I just can not dump my comfort zone. And my beloved best friend, the Pedar of my life, was entailed to leave me. And this was when this precious book came handy. And I can somehow relate with the characters that Tulo came in contact with. “Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them. Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the task at hand no matter how distasteful. All great achievements come from working and waiting. Be patient. God’s delays are never God’s denials. Hold on. Hold fast…” Inga and Tulo’s sister, Jaana, are very supportive of him. They gave hope in the exasperating days that followed. Due to the wounded leg, he was paralyzed emotionally and psychologically. Yet his mother and sister convinced him not to pity himself. That soon God, who was very busy, would answer their prayers. They had only to remain… to keep trying… and believe. “Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil, that you will reap. Never blame your condition on others. You are what you are through your choice alone..”. While waiting, Tulo had four visitors. The first was Pastor Bjork, who brought a book entitled “The History of Same People”. This prompted Tulo to write again. Days later, Uncle Varno and his son visited him with journal as a gift. Arrol Nobis, the young School Master, was the fourth visitor. Unlike other visitors, Arrol positioned himself outside the invalid’s room and spreads open the newspaper Sabmelas. He told Tulo that there was an article about man’s love affair with kites written by a very talented individual, without the author’s permission yet. That builds up the enthusiasm of Tulo who shuffled apprehensively across the room, arms outstretched for balance. That night, Tulo’s life had indeed been restored. And the journal came truly ingenious. “Learn to live with honest poverty, if you must, and turn to more important matters than transporting gold to your grave. Never meet trouble halfway. ..” My parents and sibling used to acquiesce on my every stance. After all, they consider me as “gifted” because as early as three months old, I knew how to talk simple things like “mama, pa-mamam” or “mother, I want to drink” already. Not only that, I was honored, modesty aside, as Laguna’s Brightest on 1993 and 2005. For them, I am capable of spelling a great difference in this world. However, when the world conspired against me and it seemed that my luck in the real world is over, I began to question God. “Anxiety is the rust of life; when you add tomorrow’s burdens to today’s their weight becomes unbearable. Avoid the mourner’s bench and give thanks, instead, for your defeats. You would not receive them if you did not need them. Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master...” Why is He allowing those monstrous people to persecute me? I am not doing anything against, not even trying to outsmart them, but why do they hate me? Why do they keep on “roaring” at me when I was left there, in one nook, alone and prayerful still? I stayed in my anguish so much, just like Tulo. I was paralyzed like him. All day long, I just cried and pitied myself. “Be careful. Do not overload your conscience. Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena filled with tattlers. Avoid boasting. If you see anything in you that puffs you with pride look closer and you will find more than enough to make you humble. Be wise….” There came my hero, who loved me unconditionally. A beloved gave me solace during the coldest hours. He accepted me for who I am and valued me with a kind that I can never fathom until now. Months later, my benevolent Auntie Syl and Lola Turs, gave me an Unabridged Webster’s Dictionary. Truly, their wisely chosen gift had been invaluable than any platitudes. And who is my fourth visitor, you may ask. It’s no other than my much loved mentor, Mrs. C. Espino. She gave me a ray of light to follow. She encourages me with so much luminosity in her eyes that I can not help but capture the radiance as well. On 2006, she and the rest of the faculty bestowed on me “The Most Promising” award. It left me wondering, what promise can I still keep and give? “Realize that all men are not created equal, for there is no equality in nature, yet no man was ever born whose work was not born with him. Work every day as if it were your first, yet tenderly touch the lives you touch as if they will all end at midnight…” Then, the second trial came to Jaana and Tulo came when their mother died due to over fatigue. This was shortly followed by a raging blizzard. And through that terrible storm, a miracle happened. Tulo was able to capture an extra ordinary star in the folds of his red kite, giving not only warmth and comfort but a joyful message as well. That simple star that shed light one pristine night on Bethlehem, Acabar. “Love everyone, even those who deny you, for hate is a luxury that you cannot afford. Seek out those in need. Learn that he who delivers with one hand will always gather with two…” My brother Paeng and I know the verity that we should relish each day with our affectionate parents. We know that we are all being called for an awakening destiny- to be one with our Father. Thus, my family and I tried, as much as possible, to hold on even though the world outside is giving us chills. One day, a beleaguering thunder stroke our house and one super typhoon left us penniless and almost homeless. We were all diagnosed with sickness and like Tulo, I was waiting for a soothing succor. I cried to God, knowing that He will listen and believing that He still cares. But it seems that He is too occupied with the aches of other people. It feels like we were put in the “waiting list”. I finally realized how bad it is to be rejected. “Be of good cheer. Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life. Look up. Reach out. Cling simply to God and journey quietly on your pathway to forever with charity and a smile. When you depart it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.” Soon, our Star Acabar came. Mr. & Mrs. Caingal led us to one sweet realization. True love that defies all the logical explanation of the burgeoning matters around us. When I saw Mr. and Mrs. Caingal cried over things that do not affect them at all, I then realize that the world does not revolve solely around me, my family, or us, Filipinos. While healing our humble nation, our ever generous God is guiding us towards the magical verve that binds us all, our One Spirit. And that self-pity and trivial excuses will not alleviate in creating a healthier world. Just like Acabar, Mr. and Mrs. Caingal taught me to proffer something of myself to our world each day. From that life-changing day that they bumped into my world, I resolved to put an end to the haunting memories of the past. They inspire me to be a shining star in the Kingdom of Forever. Thus, I decided to deal, finally, with my preconceptions and cowardice with love as my most powerful tool. Love that I have first discovered in the pages of that book, The Gift of Acabar. Indeed, life is a perpetual challenge between choosing good and evil. But why is it always easier to renounce than to keep on choosing righteousness? And amidst assurance and emptiness, what would you prefer? Are you merely an accident, without purpose and worth? What are your long-term plans for your life? And with contented hearts, are you going to follow the italicized “Credenda” (Latin word that simply means ‘doctrines to be believed’) that is being shared by Star Acabar? And if yes, when? Think it over, my dear friends. =)